So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
