My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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