im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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