Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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