I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
