He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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