I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
