Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
