it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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