I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
