Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
