Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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