Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
