We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
