hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
