it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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