Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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