Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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