I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I think weed is turning my hair brown
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
