it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We got so high we made milksteak
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
