You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
