All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm bleeding and have questions
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
