i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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