white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
