no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
