my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
