Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Sorry about my life...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
