so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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