i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize