if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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