I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I got her a Nickelback box set.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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