hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My vagina is very pro this idea
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