Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
