singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
