We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
