I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
