shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
