she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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