Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry crazedhyena hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(313): View more from Michigan

I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis

Fav 3 985 1276
share tweet
(404): View more from Georgia

Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.

Fav 10 3873 754
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(401): View more from Rhode Island

They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.

Fav 12 6136 1038
share tweet
(937): View more from Ohio

she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.

(1-937): View more from Ohio

it's love

Fav 16 5008 1077
share tweet
(231): View more from Michigan

OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?

Fav 80 2717 15913
share tweet
(415): View more from California

You kept trying to hail an ambulance

Fav 2 3911 1283
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(615): View more from Tennessee

She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.

Fav 6 1369 2566
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks

Fav 7 888 1190
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(304): View more from West Virginia

party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?

Fav 3 636 389
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT