One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
