I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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