Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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