sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
