I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
