She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
