Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Sorry my hands just texted you
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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