i need an iv and a liver transplant
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize