We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
