How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize