I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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