..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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