i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
