LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
True college students do jello shots in the library
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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