you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
this hospital has no fireball
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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