so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
