'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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